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9 self-defense gadgets your mugger will find hilarious
Jet engines, computers, and radar were invented by genius during the war, but what we saw in peacetime was the invention of idiots, and the result was more ridiculous self-design.
The defense system is more than a dragon career.
Some people are very stupid and have not even obtained a patent, and the US Patent Office has granted patents to a and.
Unfortunately, neither of these statements is tactful. The Self-
Even the head of an unphysical robber was confused by the invention.
The inventor seems to think that the only problem with using notepad as a weapon is that it\'s too hard to save, which should give us some insight into his motor skills.
He also thought it would be a good idea to wrap your hand around a thin and hard rectangle before hitting someone, which proves that his understanding of violence is less than that of an unborn child, at least know how to kick people\'s guts.
While the confusing series of numbering features would like us to believe that the eye of the robber is part of the invention to some extent, this and a few later
It is the hand handle on the side of the page.
This means that it is useless not only as a weapon, but actually as a notepad, assuming that you do not want everyone you leave a note to know that they can beat you.
The patent also suggests that the memo helps to make a note of the description of the attacker, which is most likely, and we are surprised that they did not suggest that you also draw a unicorn for the offender to escape.
If you can convince the robber to pose like in the picture, including without a body, you may be fine.
But if your enemies let you see their faces without restriction, you still need extra weapons to win the game and you may be finished.
So seriously, if you write down your PIN number and hand it over to it with your wallet, this mat will protect you from attack. Revolver Flick-
The most tragic gun.
Based on the mistake, except to think that your gun was removed while you were cleaning it with a penis, cartoon --named Henry H.
Hull, Ohio, designed a revolver with a switch blade.
Because after you point a gun at someone, the gun and then the knife will scare them.
If you \'ve never fired a pistol, then adding extra weight at the end of the barrel is worse than drinking a bottle of tequila.
To make matters worse, it is not an accessory to an existing revolver.
The switch blade is built into the protruding part of the barrel, so you have to buy a brand new gun for this stupid addition.
The whole transaction of a gun is pushing very unfriendly things towards your enemy, but it should be a bullet to the blast, not a bit of a spring knife.
This is a worse weapon upgrade than sprinkling sneezing powder on mines-
There is no conceivable enemy that will work for you, and there is a good chance that you will be killed.
The idea here, obviously, is that once you \'ve emptied the ammo, there\'s a bit of a fight left on you.
But if you\'re in the range where you can use this knife but still miss all six shots, you\'re honor-
They will kill you.
StickA poison-drug testing
A test kit for detection chromatography disguised as a drinking water straw, looks like a medical device with a stake on the bottom.
This product is useful for people who think their friends may be trying to murder them but don\'t want to be rude about it.
It absolutely guarantees to protect you from poison, as it seems completely impossible to drink it.
Also, when people see you carrying more of your own
Carry a straw with you at any time and make sure all the drinks they provide you are safe, this is the last issue you have to deal.
There is also a small problem with the straw only for soda, juice and other drinks that are not related to poisoning or any other growing drinkup activities.
The combination of childish drinks, poison, and absolute certainty that you don\'t drink anything is useless outside of jonesown. (Barely)
The Thorn ring \"self-defense ring\" deploys the amazing power of 5mm needles at a small price that permanently connects your two fingers together. Ma-
Ti triggers the small blade from to and you need to twist the release rod on the back with another hand.
You use your entire upper body to deploy less thorns than loose carpet nails.
This is equivalent to sending an aircraft carrier to deploy a Jeep.
In a world where chemical weapons, electric blasting, and actual guns exist, a Jeep carries a gun.
You must aim for weaknesses.
2mm clearance of spring-
The loaded blade may scratch someone\'s eye, assuming you deploy it when your finger is already planing out.
You punch through their skulls and grab and twist the release rod with the other hand.
Then you may do a little damage to one eye of the body, at which point you are just a dick to a potential donor. The Key-Whip!
We believe that this sketch is an amazing reality, as it is surprising that anyone thinks it will work in reality.
Waving the attacker moves as much as if you really shoot him in the chest with a key.
The female whip is clearly tired of life, which is a necessary condition for the use of this weapon.
Common and incorrect at the same time
Being named \"self-defense weapon\" is essentially the most effective way to get robbers into your house, car and workplace.
A key ring is a weapon of eight rings. year-
When he first discovered Ninja, Indiana Jones and graffiti, the old man would imagine.
This attack is physically based less than the voodoo curse.
The only way you can reduce the damage is if you put the key ring in someone\'s body and if you put down the stupid whip it is possible to disable someone with the key, however, if you are the kind of person who can pop up eyeballs with 1 inch Chubb, then you will not be robbed.
Or anyone other than the police negotiator and the black captain can talk to you and bring you back for the last mission.
Log PurseFirst off, I would say it\'s really sweet for the patent office to allow special applications.
This photo is more than just a patent description, it\'s a fantasy of a cute fool about how their pregnant mother stopped the bad guys from hitting her belly before they were born.
The patent text lacks words, commas, and the whole sub-clause, but since the inventor is clearly missing the entire chromosome, we won\'t be too ridiculed.
She was eager for her idea to look smart.
Neither she nor her idea is equal to a task.
She described the logs as \"natural cylindrical slender parts of a naturally grown tree\" and used more words than most scientists used to describe quantum theory to describe the hollowed logs.
She doesn\'t really understand the patent procedure, but 15 pages in a timber patent shouldn\'t surprise anyone.
The method section includes a detailed description of how to use chuck key to connect a Forstner drill bit to a drill bit, but does not realize that when things already have such names, they may have been invented.
Stupid as it is, he is the only person on this list who really works.
Carrying a hollowed out
The outer tree on a strip clearly advertises that you don\'t have the money, it\'s crazy and dare not take the risk of attacking.
They will want to steal the nuts and berries you carry with you other than the bear, not the currency.
It will really work like a jerk.
Therefore, it is a pity that this patent will never be available due to Wilma flstone\'s existing technology.
Huge leather wrist --
For those who want to throttle when notified, he wants to let them know about this.
It\'s not just (or at all)
Protect you from attacks, but it will protect you from all human conversations.
The first thing someone said to you was, \"Why is there a big strip hanging on your watch?
\"If I need to choke you to death, your answer will be \".
\"When attacked, you insert your free hand into the loop and cross the enemy\'s throat.
Obviously, the designer has not heard of wires.
Or he thinks garrotes are cowardly and therefore too dangerous to believe anything as sharp as the pen he used to draw the inner details of the worried neck.
If you behead someone, you will see the situation.
Since this person does not believe in more advanced technology than sunburned animal skins, it must take a long time to cross someone\'s neck with a piece of leather. Never.
A big part of successfully killing someone is not propaganda that you will do this, while getting a few inches of wristbands around your enemy\'s throat requires more collaboration
Action from your enemy than WWE.
You have a better chance of landing on a spinning BlackRock River.
Nevertheless, the patent frantically describes it as an ideal weapon for anyone, regardless of size or strength, specifically, for those who are smaller or weaker than the attackers, this is better than a Tartar stick or pepper spray.
But, this is a man, his reaction to the attack is to tie his own hands together and have lunch together!
He may think it\'s a simple pattern to free your legs.
Batleth shopping bag HandleIn many states, it is legal to carry a hidden gun, but without brass knuckles, the invention is even more stupid and funny.
\"Handle items and self-defense handles\" is a set of brass fools suitable for carrying shopping.
Those narrow grooves on both sides are not nostrils.
They were designed to carry plastic bags, removing obstacles.
This means that before hitting the attacker, you have to stop and unlock your shopping because trying to punch with groceries that are dangling from your fist is like punching in syrup.
Anyone will tell you that anything that \"shakes and shakes\" is a serious tactical weakness at the end of the street.
The suggestion that the handle can be made of plastic does not help: Brass Knuckles can be flooring, but a plastic knuckles sound like a sex toy.
Still, to be fair, if you can do something like this with the robbers, it may make them disabled long enough for you to escape.
The invention reveals a series of terrible priorities.
When you are ready to go shopping, this person does not bring a bag or a weapon. when you only bring a bag, you can use it as a weapon (
He must take down his luggage first. )
This is a very special weapon.
You can\'t drink tea in the man\'s house without hurting yourself with his fighting spoon, and it takes him three minutes to disarm the bear trap/slippers before going to bed every night.
He also abused the apostrophe wildly, but I promise I won\'t tell him.
Unless you\'re in K-
This is never going to work, and even then it has to be a baby Klingon who just bought a better weapon.
Like a can of beans.
If people can buy the finest white geons fish, they can later enjoy it on toast, the only hand --
The weapon that holds the item worse than yours is the testicles.
The improved plow and gun combination adds a huge barrel to the hand
Push the plough and reverse the word \"improve.
\"It was a patent filed for farmers during the American Civil War, and he thought his plow was not heavy enough.
And his middle age.
Plowed fields will be an important goal of the alliance.
You will notice that there is no link to the bull plow and would like to notice that this is a very good thing (
Although it is a very fast way to spread skewers on a venue full of guests. )
The French and French are ready to add more actors.
The heavy labor of one hand-
Push the plow in order to one day possibly shoot someone.
This is definitely a tragedy of invention.
This was in 1862, when many simple and effective upgrades had not been invented, but the best idea for them to improve the gun was to increase the plough on the gun.
This means that if the enemy is not considerate enough to attack directly in front of the huge cast --
Iron Plow barrel, you will convert to Buddhism faster and come back to them in the next life with a better gun than aiming at it.
To show how behind the progress of this weapon, it was patented the same year as Richard J.
Gatlin\'s new gun.
This is for the people who sow rows of plants who want to be attacked directly, so it was a tragedy in 150 before the plants fight zombies.